September is National Suicide Prevention Month and this week's newsletter has some guidance on language, helpful podcasts, and some of my favorite thought-leaders on the topic of suicide and the workplace.

This urge to fix situations is, in the language of empathy avatars, encapsulated by Fix-It Frank (or Francine).  And it is so easy to let this fix-it mentality drive us, especially at work.
A lot of you are hired (and promoted) because you are good at solving problems.  But your friends/family/direct reports don't want to be treated like problems that need solving!

Grief is love expressing itself over time...and anniversaries can feel particularly poignant. 

There is goodness in rest.  Consider this week's newsletter an invitation - if your life demands and mental load resemble that woefully overloaded trailer, take a moment to consider - what can I unload?

These are the moments you train for - you can't, ultimately, prevent the chaos. But you can hope/train/equip your employees to respond with care when it matters most.
Disruptive life events are opportunities to create unforgettable moments of connection and care.  

As it all reaches a boiling point, take a moment to pause – who are the people or groups that you feel like it is OK to “other” – who are the people that you harbor a quiet (or not so quiet) schadenfreude towards?
This question (and its answer) has roots in the moral universe.  So, as you ponder it, the answer will probably bring you back to your foundational moral beliefs. 

In his final days, Tozer taught me to interrogate the stories I make up in my mind, to practice greater curiosity, to lean in (when the behavior seems odd/out of character) and ask, "what else *might* be going on here?"

"We create suffering for ourselves.  Instead of looking at your loved one, your child, and focusing on all of the things that are wrong with them, what if you looked at the things you are grateful for?" 

Take a moment to reflect – what is a message from your childhood that shaped who you are now?
Do you have it in mind, the way it made you feel at the time?
Now ask, is this message still serving/helping me?  What else could be true?

What doesn't kill you...almost did!
How to stop promising positive outcomes and become really helpful

Loss and disruption don't fit into tidy categories.  How can you structure your policies to make space for the messy, unexpected nature of loss? 

When people are living through disruptive life events, there are all kinds of ways to deal with the stress and strain.
One person might welcome gestures of support as they take their child for leukemia treatments while another might value anonymity as they muddle through a messy divorce.