The Little Cactus that could

Reflections on Mother's Day, gratitude, and grief

Moms shape our lives profoundly.

The good ones, the complicated ones, the ones who are no longer with us.

And Sunday is a day where we purposefully turn our attention towards their presence in our lives.

Some of you are anticipating a messy breakfast in bed - others are just hoping for the day to pass without too much pain.  I'm thinking of you all as I type on this Friday morning.

They don't need much
About eight years ago, I was given a small cactus on Mother's Day.  All the moms received a prickly plant as we walked out of a Sunday service.

"Fitting!" a friend of mine quipped, "they don't need much - only a bit of water every few months to eek out an existence."

And it's true - this is the little cactus that could, outstripping every other plant in my house by a magnitude of years.

I can neglect it for months and it keeps on keeping on.

Perspective
Moms can be like that, just getting it done and not demanding much. 

It is only now, as a managing-all-the-things mom, that I've thanked my mom for all the hours she spent in the car, driving me to my many activities.

My children have no idea the things I balance - the texts about birthday parties, the oral surgery scheduling, the antibiotic pick-ups, replacing the broken lacrosse gear, all while serving clients and figuring out what the six of us can eat for dinner.

Cheers to the moms on the other side of this email - juggling all the things.

Cheers to the moms we all have - and the years of care that they poured into us.

Presence to those that are missing a mom,

Those whose moms failed them in ways that mattered,

Those of you who wish you could be a mom - and are quietly enduring an infertility journey.

And to the moms (like me) aching for the children they cannot hold.

It is a day for us all. For the gratitude, for the exhaustion, for the yearning, and even for the grief.

Reach out with care
If you know a person who is facing a painful Mother's Day, consider reaching out with a note, a call, or a text.

You don't need to make it better - just a "I'm thinking of you on a hard day" or "Your mom would be so proud of you" is powerful.

Presence over perfection.