Good gossip

My preteen daughter was weeping when I picked her up from the class party. 

In her hand, she held a note, signed by all of her "friends", telling her that they no longer wanted to hang out with her.  She was officially out of the friend group.

Oooph.  It was brutal.  I imagined the whispered conversations these co-signers had with one another - conferring and planning as they drafted their thoughts on that lined notebook page.

This was a few years ago.  And it took a long time to recover.  This daughter is older now and flourishing, with a really lovely and stable group of friends.  

Talking about someone behind their back.

Your immediate connotation is probably negative - we think of hot takes, tawdry secrets, and dirty laundry.

But you can talk about someone, behind their back, and say kind-and-true things.

When I started dating my husband, Luke, it was because people were talking behind his back, telling me what a great guy he was (is!).

Recommend people generously, speak about their strengths.  Go onto their LinkedIn page and leave a glowing recommendation.  Mention them in a room full of opportunities.

Tearing ideas and people down is cheap and easy work. Be a builder.