Don't ask this question...
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Infertility and miscarriage are an unfortunately common and often private pain…and asking this question can cause great discomfort in social interactions.
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Five ways to support someone during painful anniversaries
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Today, I want to offer five reflections on gestures that have been meaningful in this intermediate stage of grief, when the immediate pain of loss has changed into the longer journey with coping.
Read MoreAnniversaries are Difficult
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How do you mark difficult anniversaries? The days feel unwieldy and hard to manage. We’ve tried a number of different things, but even after all these years, I never really know what I want on these complicated days.
Read MoreYou will not stretch
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Today, I share a slideshow of Mercy Joan and reflections on the eve of her birthday:
Perhaps you too have been reduced, laid bare by life. If so, I hope you have space to embrace the complexity, to release yourself to these days that are joyful and troubling and true.
Read MoreAnger and indecision
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Anger is part of the complicated landscape of pain. I explore anger, indecision, and my explosive encounter with an unyielding librarian in today’s blog post.
Read MoreThe physical toll of grief
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Early grief is intensely physical…now, when I hear about the car crash or the divorce or the diagnosis, I put on my apron and bake a loaf of bread. I arrive with a chai tea latte or an offer of childcare. Especially when the sorrow is fresh, embodied care is immensely impactful. Offer a hug, clean a toilet, send a bar of chocolate. Words are important but incomplete.
Read MoreFebruary feels...unpredictable
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The tempestuous weather of February seems appropriate; it finds strange symmetry with my inner world. February is the month when my daughter, Mercy Joan, was born. February is the month that she died…and I find myself feeling as unpredictable as the weather.
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