When the news is bad and I feel small, I feel myself tipping into despair:  the problem is too big and that the people with the power can't or won't do what matters.

But the truth is that no small goodness is insignificant.  And despair robs the world of the incremental grace that I can offer.

I'd rather write about the helpers.  I'm reminded of a quote from my favorite neighbor-and-sage, Mr. Rogers:

If you look for the helpers, you will know there is hope.

There are problems that are way beyond my pay grade (and yours) - I will probably not do some big, epic thing in the world that will suddenly snap all that is broken back into focus.

But I can do a good work, right where I am planted, caring for my family and coworkers, reaching out when it matters, giving my money to meaningful causes, delighting in beauty and practicing gratitude.  I can do a good work of willing the good for everyone that I encounter.

ake Superior always right-sizes me.  When I am near her, I am awestruck by a force that makes me small.
 
This is an important truth:  I am significant, but I am small.
 
Because the churn of work can make everything BIG.

What research, best practices, and personal experience show, again and again, is that one of the best ways to get a person regulated/back to a stable place is not by telling them that they aren't sad or admonishing them to just get over their feelings.

Acknowledgment is powerful.  People want to feel seen and heard.  When our emotions are witnessed, it helps us to move to a different state in freedom instead of pushing down our feelings, pretending that they aren't there, or hiding from a place of shame.

If you are in a leadership position, refuse to tolerate bad behavior.

Yes, their numbers might be through the roof, they might be a savant in Excel or dazzle shareholders, but bad behavior takes a toll, it communicates to the entire organization that your values/handbook don't apply equally to everyone.

Perhaps the person needs to go - or they need to receive some remedial training in how to play better with others.

As I have been meeting with organizations of all sizes throughout the country this year, it's absolutely clear that people are in crisis. And when surveying the teams that I'm working with, I'm seeing some concerning trends.

At Handle w/ Care, we want to share some leading-edge data with you, as well as some actionable tips to help your people, clients, and culture emerge from 2025 more unified and engaged than ever.
 

Creating replicable templates for care is an organizational game-changer.  Most companies rely on a patchwork of episodic support.  Some teams or individuals are big-hearted, gifted organizers that show up with care when it matters most.

But true growth comes from taking those best-practices and making them into standard operating procedures.

Why does loneliness matter?
Your lonely employees are more likely to get sick, more likely to tune out, and more likely to leave your organization.  This is a cost to both your hiring and your retention as well as to your health insurance premiums.

Your coworkers are not family members, but this same cycle of overwhelm and negativity can happen at work.  We find ourselves hyper-aware of all that is going wrong, keeping mental tallies of all the ways that coworkers and clients are dropping the ball.

Or, when that mental accounting becomes too exhausting, we go numb, merely going through the motions of to-do lists.  

There is a better way. 

So, don't be surprised when grief sideswipes you - we live in a world that carries miracles and terror...and that grief, that ache, is a testament to love and to hope.  

You miss them because you loved.  You ache because you hope for a day when things are put to right.

Some very brief tips when their loss triggers yours...

How you care for your employees (and clients) during disruptive life events matters.

The company lost a lot that day - a promising new hire (whose moving expenses they'd already paid), all the work of the recruitment team, and they suffered a huge blow to their reputation as a place that puts people first.

Not to mention the new, added cost of having to find + hire her replacement.

All because one manager wasn't skilled at empathy and connection.

A sugary-sweet email landed in my Inbox this week, titled "A Mother's love never fails"...

Really?  I thought of the neglected children-turned grown-ups who read that title, feeling it as a gut-punch:  the adults still grappling with their mother's cruelty or her addiction.  

Because the truth is, Mothers Day can be complicated. 

Empathy PTO is a great example of a policy that makes values manifest.  Thinking creatively, Monique and her team provided a category of PTO that could be used with flexibility, allowing employees to take the time they needed during seasons of disruption.

Mr. Bush said it well – “don’t get distracted from what matters most”.
 
Which was another way of asking us, both personally and organizationally  – what are you for? 

I’m making a list and putting it somewhere that I see often – what do I want to be marked by?  When people spend time with me, in person or in virtual space, what do I want their energetic imprint to be?

One of the answers that consistently emerges, for me, is hope.

Helping, in the moment, does not mean that we never address the behavior of the skill-deficit - it means that we, as leaders, are clear-eyed enough to know that, when someone's brain is in a moment of overwhelm, they aren't able to learn or absorb new information.

The smartest organizations know the power of documenting their processes so they are replicable, equitable, and aren't dependent on just one person.

But we haven't applied that degree of intention (or documentation) for how we care for people during the inevitable, disruptive life events that will occur.

Empathy shouldn't be the only "leg" that governmental or company policies stand on, but it certainly deserves a seat at the table.

Not a bug - but something that can bring out our best.

• I'm too empathetic - it's exhausting sometimes!

• I know that if I ask them how they are doing, it's going to be a whole thing

• You don't understand - they enjoy being stuck in drama (or sadness)

These are some of the reservations that I hear from clients.

And their apprehension comes from real life experiences.  Perhaps you've been there too, as the conversation seems to get stuck in an emotional morass.

Especially at work, this can be difficult for managers and coworkers to navigate.  Which leads them to avoid conversations about disruptive life events entirely.

This was the year of the break-up, the death, or the deep loneliness - and today is a reminder of the disruptive life events and the world that is not-how-you-want-it-to-be.

I hope you have some good people around you, ones that can look up from their own plans or chocolates to give you a hug, a coffee, or just a listening ear.