You're not sad... And other, unhelpful things we say

You're not sad... And other, unhelpful things we say

What research, best practices, and personal experience show, again and again, is that one of the best ways to get a person regulated/back to a stable place is not by telling them that they aren't sad or admonishing them to just get over their feelings.

Acknowledgment is powerful.  People want to feel seen and heard.  When our emotions are witnessed, it helps us to move to a different state in freedom instead of pushing down our feelings, pretending that they aren't there, or hiding from a place of shame.

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Called out by Coldplay - how we tolerate bad behavior at work

Called out by Coldplay - how we tolerate bad behavior at work

If you are in a leadership position, refuse to tolerate bad behavior.

Yes, their numbers might be through the roof, they might be a savant in Excel or dazzle shareholders, but bad behavior takes a toll, it communicates to the entire organization that your values/handbook don't apply equally to everyone.

Perhaps the person needs to go - or they need to receive some remedial training in how to play better with others.

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Empathy for Trying Times - a Mid-Year Report

Empathy for Trying Times - a Mid-Year Report

As I have been meeting with organizations of all sizes throughout the country this year, it's absolutely clear that people are in crisis. And when surveying the teams that I'm working with, I'm seeing some concerning trends.

At Handle w/ Care, we want to share some leading-edge data with you, as well as some actionable tips to help your people, clients, and culture emerge from 2025 more unified and engaged than ever.
 

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How to plan for connection - practical tips for communicating care

How to plan for connection - practical tips for communicating care

Your coworkers are not family members, but this same cycle of overwhelm and negativity can happen at work.  We find ourselves hyper-aware of all that is going wrong, keeping mental tallies of all the ways that coworkers and clients are dropping the ball.

Or, when that mental accounting becomes too exhausting, we go numb, merely going through the motions of to-do lists.  

There is a better way. 

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So, when are you coming back to work? My viral post hits a nerve.

So, when are you coming back to work? My viral post hits a nerve.

How you care for your employees (and clients) during disruptive life events matters.

The company lost a lot that day - a promising new hire (whose moving expenses they'd already paid), all the work of the recruitment team, and they suffered a huge blow to their reputation as a place that puts people first.

Not to mention the new, added cost of having to find + hire her replacement.

All because one manager wasn't skilled at empathy and connection.

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What are you "for"? Help for turbulent times

What are you "for"? Help for turbulent times

Mr. Bush said it well – “don’t get distracted from what matters most”.
 
Which was another way of asking us, both personally and organizationally  – what are you for? 

I’m making a list and putting it somewhere that I see often – what do I want to be marked by?  When people spend time with me, in person or in virtual space, what do I want their energetic imprint to be?

One of the answers that consistently emerges, for me, is hope.

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What is a good, next step for you right now?

What is a good, next step for you right now?
  • I'm too empathetic - it's exhausting sometimes!

  • I know that if I ask them how they are doing, it's going to be a whole thing

  • You don't understand - they enjoy being stuck in drama (or sadness)

These are some of the reservations that I hear from clients.

And their apprehension comes from real life experiences.  Perhaps you've been there too, as the conversation seems to get stuck in an emotional morass.

Especially at work, this can be difficult for managers and coworkers to navigate.  Which leads them to avoid conversations about disruptive life events entirely.

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"This is a great country" - Seeing through different eyes

"This is a great country" -  Seeing through different eyes

I was reminded, through the eyes and story of Abdurrahman, that some of the best of who we are-and-can-be as people is to be people who are kind, who create opportunities for others, who extend a welcome and reach out with care.

Whether that is to a stranger, to a coworker, or to a person that lives in your home - each movement of kindness matters and helps to co-create communities that we all want to be a part of.

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How an Anonymous GI Saved my German Grandmother - An Empathy Story

How an Anonymous GI Saved my German Grandmother - An Empathy Story

And while we can’t, ultimately, know who we would be until we are in the moment, I know that empathy and kindness and courage don’t emerge from a vacuum. These traits are forged (or not) in a hundred small moments.

Moments where it would be easier to turn away, to just keep going in the other direction or onwards with the task instead of caring for the person.

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