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help for the holidays
The Holidays Can Be Hard - when little things feel big
In the grey and grinding months after our daughter, Mercy Joan, died, my mother gave me a set of seven ceramic birds. “A reminder that you will always be a family of seven.” I displayed them on our mantle…poignant, a little cheesy, and unfortunately vulnerable to the daily antics of Magnus.
Empathy In The News
Empathy for Trying Times: A Midyear Report
how to care
How an Anonymous GI Saved my German Grandmother - An Empathy Story
how to care
What my dying dog taught me
how to care
Self Loathing Sally and Avoidant Andy
Recent Posts
Increased Power = Decreased Empathy
“Individuals with a higher sense of power experience less compassion and distress when confronted with another’s suffering.” This was the conclusion of an illuminating study by psychologist Gerben A. van Kleef and colleagues in Psychological Science. What does this mean? It means that as you rise in influence, your perception of others will (could) become skewed.
Counseling is good, 2020 is hard. Go gently
Last week, Luke and I traveled to Phoenix for some personal as well as marriage counseling. Because this year has been hard...and that hardness only piles on top of all the previous years of acquired resentments, bad patterns etc. Taking time away, getting professional help from someone you trust, and making time to move purposefully towards health is so important.
Michelle Obama on the importance of Empathy
Last night, Former First Lady Michelle Obama emphasized the importance of empathy. Seeing life from the perspective of The Other. It IS what we (should) be teaching our children. It IS essential for human flourishing. Remember: the pain of exclusion when your experience was overlooked or marginalized. Remember: the deep feeling of safety when you were welcomed with resonance and care. Empathy matters.
Haircuts and asking for help
I was eating an omelet when I noticed that her hair looked different. “Did you cut your hair?” I asked my seven year old. Yes. She did. Lopped off a chunk in the front. “It was sticking up so much and bothering me; so I just decided to cut it.” …
Insulting the President of Nigeria and other lessons in shame
Shame is a crappy motivator. Shame can get you short-term results, but in the long term, it demeans your people and undercuts your authority. Communicating boundaries and expectations (no pigs in the briefing packet!) with trust shows confident, caring leadership.
Gratitude as a survival tactic
Cultivating gratitude is a survival tactic during COVID-19. Research demonstrates that gratitude correlates to improved relationships and mental health (which we all need right now!). And gratitude is going to be one of the first things to go when you are stressed out. I’ve had to work at this. Because there is a lot of overwhelm and irritation in the mix…
NOT your truest self
Maybe you’ve seen people posting sentiments like, “Adversity introduces a person to themselves.” There is a nugget of insight here, BUT, this sentiment could steer you wrong...because you are not your truest self when you are stressed out…
Unruly Emotions
How is it going with all of those unruly emotions that you’re trying to control/suppress? Perhaps you have been pushing past the sadness, the anger, the irritation. After all, there are children to be fed and deadlines to meet and other people have it so much worse than you. Let me invite you to stop comparing and compartmentalizing your churning emotional world. The worst grief is always YOUR grief…
No more backward glances
Yesterday, I *finally* took my 2020 Goals off of the wall. My business coach had suggested putting them there, in my line of sight, so I could measure my progress. A good idea. Until COVID-19.
Work, Life, and Unfinished Grief: 9 years and counting
The first days of February were erratic, veering from sixty-degree-sunny skies to persistent, freezing rain.
There is something fitting to the unpredictable weather. On February 15, Mercy Joan (my daughter) would have been nine years old. Our family steps into another year without her.
Mental Health: 2020 Healthcare Trend
Mental health matters in your workplace. It is one of the most important factors identified in Springbuk’s Employee Health Trends 2020 Report. Nearly 1 in 5 employees have a mental health condition.
Mental health issues take a toll on productivity and presence…and they are expensive. Claims for medical and prescriptions are more than twice what it costs for those without a mental health condition.
Kobe Bryant, Grief, and Community
News outlets and social media feeds are full of pain today over the tragic loss of Kobe Bryant and the eight others who died yesterday morning. We are signaling our pain, our awareness of loss, through quotes and photos.
Check out the Handle w/ Care podcast
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
Guests share about living (and leading) through the hard times. You get a behind the scenes look at the good, the bad, and the ugly. Each episode ends with actionable tips to make you a better manager, coworker, or friend.
featured episodes
S1, EP36
How can I honor her? Jason Seiden on life and meaning after his daughter’s suicide
S1, EP8
Divorce, depression, and alcohol: an interview with David Mills
S1, EP5
My husband had a brain injury: the challenge of long-term disability. An interview with Bess Malek-Maiorano
S1, EP1
My Wife Had Cancer: An Interview With Brad Grammar
S1, EP33
My partner is dead: drunk driving and sudden death. An interview with Barry Hoyer
S2, EP2
We Are Humans First: Empathy and International Teams - an interview with Jorge Vargas
Take the Quiz
Which Empathy Avatar Are You?
Every leader has one. Each comes with superpowers (and pitfalls). Meet yours today. Estimated time ~ 5 minutes.
Free Guide:
How to Help During Hard Times
Life is hard and complex, but caring for your people doesn’t have to be. This free guide offers a clear, easy-to-implement checklist for how to care for your team during disruptive life events.
From the first day, week, and month after disruption, this guide helps you show up with consistent meaningful words and actions while maintaining business priorities. Enter your info below and we’ll send you your free guide and put empathy to work.