Whether it is a divorce or a COIVD diagnosis or a miscarriage, we often find ourselves at a loss for words when we're confronted with someone else's pain.

Empathy is the essential leadership skill of 2020. Empathy is the ability to honor and respond to the pain of another person, the capacity to let that person know that they are seen and heard and that they are not alone.

When this sort of intentional care occurs, it has a profoundly positive effect on businesses, communities, and families. And yet, empathy is a skill that is often under-appreciated and even unpracticed, especially from top leadership.

“Individuals with a higher sense of power experience less compassion and distress when confronted with another’s suffering.” This was the conclusion of an illuminating study by psychologist Gerben A. van Kleef and colleagues in Psychological Science. What does this mean? It means that as you rise in influence, your perception of others will (could) become skewed.

Last week, Luke and I traveled to Phoenix for some personal as well as marriage counseling. Because this year has been hard...and that hardness only piles on top of all the previous years of acquired resentments, bad patterns etc. Taking time away, getting professional help from someone you trust, and making time to move purposefully towards health is so important.

Last night, Former First Lady Michelle Obama emphasized the importance of empathy. Seeing life from the perspective of The Other. It IS what we (should) be teaching our children. It IS essential for human flourishing. Remember: the pain of exclusion when your experience was overlooked or marginalized. Remember: the deep feeling of safety when you were welcomed with resonance and care. Empathy matters.

I was eating an omelet when I noticed that her hair looked different. “Did you cut your hair?” I asked my seven year old. Yes. She did. Lopped off a chunk in the front. “It was sticking up so much and bothering me; so I just decided to cut it.” …

Shame is a crappy motivator. Shame can get you short-term results, but in the long term, it demeans your people and undercuts your authority. Communicating boundaries and expectations (no pigs in the briefing packet!) with trust shows confident, caring leadership.

Cultivating gratitude is a survival tactic during COVID-19. Research demonstrates that gratitude correlates to improved relationships and mental health (which we all need right now!). And gratitude is going to be one of the first things to go when you are stressed out. I’ve had to work at this. Because there is a lot of overwhelm and irritation in the mix…

Maybe you’ve seen people posting sentiments like, “Adversity introduces a person to themselves.” There is a nugget of insight here, BUT, this sentiment could steer you wrong...because you are not your truest self when you are stressed out…

How is it going with all of those unruly emotions that you’re trying to control/suppress? Perhaps you have been pushing past the sadness, the anger, the irritation. After all, there are children to be fed and deadlines to meet and other people have it so much worse than you. Let me invite you to stop comparing and compartmentalizing your churning emotional world. The worst grief is always YOUR grief…

Yesterday, I *finally* took my 2020 Goals off of the wall. My business coach had suggested putting them there, in my line of sight, so I could measure my progress. A good idea. Until COVID-19.

The first days of February were erratic, veering from sixty-degree-sunny skies to persistent, freezing rain. 

There is something fitting to the unpredictable weather.  On February 15, Mercy Joan (my daughter) would have been nine years old.  Our family steps into another year without her.